Fall, Deoch 4, Fourth Moon, Day 12

Dear Brother

by Mordrake in Dark Ages

How have you been? Where ever you are now, I hope Temuair treats you well. I also hope that this letter reach you in good hand. As you should know, father is strictly forbidding any attempt to seek you out. Heck. he even got mad at mom for mentioning it last time, and you know how much father loves mom. As a result, I had to rely on the good will of a rogue with a reputable character to deliver this letter to you. Having said that, you should also have already guessed that father is still outrageously mad at you. Well.

More so then usual anyway, but at least this time.

I don't blame him.

"How can you just left like that???" "Why must you go???"

Those were the questions mom ask me day and night, and I just know it that father is asking those same questions in his heart when ever he walks down the hall and passes your door. Perhaps... only me and Misty knows the answer...

Do you still remember the "Tower of the Triad"? I see it everyday now, when ever I shall look out of Master Hadrian's window. Our "Throne" has finally come into view now. It seems that the only part of the tree that did not change at all is that wizened old bough so etched with time and. smiles. three tiny crudely cut emblems of fire, water, and. that few squiggly lines. I can still remember that night as clearly as it was but yesterday's. The night sky's a shade of dark blue sitting upon black ridges of trees. Three ratlings, all standing upon a bough of a tree and clinging to a higher branch. Guided by the moonlight, work intently as if they were carving an insignia of great power instead of just a seat marker. But then again. to them, perhaps the powers are real..

Ti'was a quiet night, the silence of the sleeping Suomi was only betray by such occasional squealing of Misty's.. But none seem to notice, nor do they seem to care. All except the bright moon high above them, but she would not interfere. She only smirked at them, as if already known that they are bound to folly with their own foolishness. Oh, three young and foolish ratlings they are indeed. How long did they waited upon that bough? All night long I believe. They waited and waited, waiting for the "tower" to grow high so that they can secretly peak into Master Hadrian's room. Little do they know that trees do not grow over night, and even if it does, there's really no way for them to learn anything just by peaking..

Farther more, little did they realize that staying out all night results in a highly uncomfortable, quite nauseous, and slightly satisfying (after all, the attention and the pampering ain't that bad) sickness more commonly known as a fever.

Ahhh... look at me now.. using the term "they" as if those three ratlings were not ourselves.. But in another sense, perhaps they are indeed not ourselves..

Isn't that the same moon above me now? I rear up and wonder. Isn't this the same bough I'm sitting on now? I think as I stroked my hand across the branch. And isn't that the same window we were looking at then? I look forward and thought. Everything seem so similar.. Yet. so different.

Yes, different, but perhaps the difference is within instead of out....

Palt, paot, paut, polt, poat, pout,

Fall, Deoch 4, Fourth Moon, day 14

Last night, me and Misty went to sat under the Whispering Oldman again, Discussing, as always, our latest findings in our research and all the insights we gain towards magic in general.

"Gor, heat these jars up for me will you?" Misty said.

"For the nine-hundred-and-thirty-first time! I'm not a heater! My srad magic ain't use for this abuse" I replied.

It came. Just like that. Cruel and without warning, woe lounges upon us like a kelberoth pouncing from the bushes. After an seemingly eternity of silence, Misty's eyes start to glitter in the dim lantern light with tears...

I wish I could comfort her. I wanted to comfort her. I NEEDED to comfort her.. Yet, no words come. All I can do is stare into her eyes. The blackness of her pupil seem to enlarge, enlarge, and enlarge, till they seem to engulfed me. Just as I thought that I can bear this shame no longer. The wind came to my rescue. With a long sigh, the whispering wind blows out our lantern light and it's truly dark.

Yes, I still fear the dark (why do you think I pick srad?), but, strangely, not that night. not that darkness... no. not that night... That darkness offered me solace, offered a place for refugees like me to hide from their shames. The tide of emotions that are about to over flood subsides as I turn my head towards the breeze. For a few brief moments, it was truly silent.. Then. I heard it, I heard it alright. a voice. your voice.

A few minutes later, you walk into the room again.

a few more minutes passes and you came in yet again??!?

Mo : "The delivery is completed, I have deposited the wines in the cellar"

I never could figure out why Madam Bertil was so furious at me that time.

I guess now I know.

But before I was given time to ponder or protest, blackness came over me once more, and I was snared away by the current of time. When the darkness receded, I found myself standing outside of Master Dar's doorway. There was a crowd gathered there, the smell of anticipation is high in the air. I could sense Misty jumping up and down beside me, trying desperately to look over the shoulders of the crowd before us. Ahh.. I remember now, Master Hadrian said that he has a rather important announcement that evening. The crowd whispers impatiently among themselves, guessing, contemplating, some even wagering.. on what Master Hadrian will announce. Finally, after much delay, Master Hadrian's crouching frame materializes out of the dark doorway. In a rasp voice, (actually over the years, I came to know that Master's voice ain't like that at all, he just do that to sound mysterious) Master Hadrian announced: "I have decided that." a cough interrupted him from the audience, the Master seem annoyed, but he continued "..decided that I shall take two pupil in the coming spring of Deoch Five." interrupted again by another cough, this time the Master's really annoyed, and started some murmurs that sounded conspicuously like a chant.. (the cougher takes off soon after yelping out a frail ouch) Master Hadrian then continues ".. to assist me in my research, as well as to pass on my knowledge.... All those interested, will need to demonstrate to me his or hers talent and devotion. by the end of next double moon.., all of you. will.." The rest of the announcement is drown out by the thunderous voice within my head: "Two pupils. two pupils.. two.. pupils.... Two. Only.."

And as if answering the thunderous voice, small droplets of rain starts to fall from the sky. Perhaps the cloud mistaken the thunder within me as a genuine request of gods for storm, or perhaps the clouds are weeping for this turn of events as well. Either way, the rain drops falls upon me unnoticed. The thunderous voice relentlessly bombarding my senses, yet.. there is another voice.. one that is frail.. yet.. undrownable, undeniable, it says : "maybe it's better this way... maybe, maybe.." I guess I know it all along, been knowing it ever since Misty can't decide who to dance with on the new year's festival. Have been knowing since Misty place both our gifts in her room, my painting on the right, your "doll"(what ever that is) on the left. Aye, perhaps I've known it ever since when she had just arrived in Suomi but for a moon, but can already tell us apart....

After the announcement is over, I walked home absentmindedly, following what ever shadow in front of me, luckily for me, that shadow belong to you. Misty got drag home by her parents, she has an appreciation for water, but still not prone to coldness and disease. And good for her too, as the initial drizzle turned into an outpouring shower soon after. But of-course, neither of us minded, we welcome it actually. Neither of us were in any mood to make up excuses for our downcast face, nor do we have the courage to tell anyone the truth. How can anybody understand? Nobody could. Maybe not even ourselves understand it.

We just know it.

Knows that one of us will have to leave..

The walk home was strangely silent, no splashing sound of ladies' foot step as they ran to avoid the rain, no laughter of children as they play in the puddle, not even any rowdy voices of men from Aunt Viveka's tavern. It's as if silence is a real and alive person walking beside us. The only word spoken for the whole trip home was.

which you whirl around and tossed at me just before we reach the door. I didn't reply, I didn't need to reply. You know that just as much as I do.

So with out another word, you produced a shiny gold coin out of your sleeves, showed the tail to me, I nodded, and the coin is let fly...

I could've sworn there's a levitation spell on that coin, it tosses and turns slowly in the air, as if even fate has its moments of indecisiveness. When the coin finally landed, it showed tail, but I didn't rejoice, why should I?

I just lost a brother..

Ahh, why do the wind bring me back? Why show me all these images, have I not suffered enough, have I not enough shame to last me a lifetime? These thoughts raced through my mind at least a billion times.

And the wind quickly answered me.. with another image. Ti's a image of me sitting in the yard, a confused youth rearing his head up to every star to ask for direction, but none reply him. In the other end of the house, a shadow creep across my room, inserted a shiny object into one of my books, Aeife's "Seimh Bron", and was gone in a blink...

Surprised, I awaken with a jolt. Misty's concerned gaze met mine instantly. My eyes darted across the Oldman Alvar's vineyard towards my house and back again onto Misty's face. As if she knew what I'm pondering, she reached out her tiny wrist and patted that back of my hand. "It's ok, I'll be alright, go ahead now and do what ever you need to do" she said.

Isn't she's a marvelous person? Like she can see right through to your heart.. I have even given her a new nickname, "Mistiyana Soulpeaker" (pretty good hm?), but somehow she's not too enthusiastic about it.

Winter, Deoch 4, First Moon, Day 2

Me and Misty have decided to have the marriage ceremony in the spring of Deoch 5. Everyone's invited, including Weirdo Fisk (now now, I know what I'm doing, don't worry, Mo). I turned down all offers of best man.

Me and Misty already have a candidate in mind. You are always with us.

Always. not matter where you are.

I found your wedding gifts, and I shall always treasure it, including the two sided coin...

Thank you, brother..

For everything...

Gordrake Leonder

And

Mistiyana Lorin(soon to be Leonder)